


Absence of Light

by thewightknight



Series: First Order Husbands [8]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Choking, M/M, bittersweet endings, dark side of the force, first order husbands, not force choking this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6035899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Kylo Ren completes his training.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absence of Light

**Author's Note:**

> Possible trigger, for choking/strangulation.

Two days after the incident with Snoke things appeared in Hux’s quarters while he was out. He didn’t notice the clothes in the wardrobe until that evening as he was preparing for sleep, black robes and mantle and a pair of stiff leather boots, because the helmet sitting on the corner of his desk took all of his attention. 

It was recognizably Ren’s helmet, similar in lines to the lost one, but it was not an exact replica. Unlike the old one with its lines of silver this one was all black, and instead of a glossy shine it had a matte finish. Darkness seemed to extend out from it and even when he turned all the lights up in his quarters as high as they would go his desk still seemed to remain in shadow. He tried to finish up a few reports but didn’t get far, kept looking up at the damned thing. Finally, he picked it up and put it on a table to the side, facing the wall. He still caught himself staring at it from time to time but his immediate space felt less menaced.

The next evening after dinner he walked into his quarters and found Ren standing in them, back to the door, hands braced on the table on which his helmet lay, staring down at it. He didn’t turn when Hux crossed the room but his stance softened when Hux wrapped his arms around him, leaned into him, cheek resting against his shoulder.

 _I missed you_ , he thought, but kept the words to himself, still not knowing what had caused Snoke’s displeasure. Ren heard them anyways, or felt them, or whatever Force bedamned thing he did, and he murmured in response. “I know.”

They did nothing but stand there for uncounted moments. Nothing else existed during that time for Hux but the rise and fall of Ren’s chest under his arms. When Ren stirred at last he loosened his hold but didn’t let go completely. 

“It’s done,” Ren said. His voice was rough, and Hux didn’t want to try to decide whether it might be from disuse or screaming.

“Your training?” he asked, and Ren shook his head.

“No, my lightsaber.” He shifted, and Hux could see it lying there on the table. It lacked the crossguards of Ren’s old saber and like the helmet it lay beside it was dull black. Ren picked it up, thumbed the switch and Hux recoiled as the blade sprang to life. Blacker than the depths of space through which they'd traveled, it crackled with white fire at its edges. Hux had thought his new helmet sucked the light from the air around it. The lightsaber pulled at his soul. With it in his hand Ren looked like a distillation of himself, everything human in him stripped away and only a living weapon left behind.

He hadn’t realized he’d let go, backed up, until Ren extinguished the blade and he saw that several feet now separated them. His mouth was dry and his heart was pounding in his chest. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Ren asked, reverence and love thick in his words. “With this in my hand, I will be unstoppable. Snoke has seen it. Nothing can withstand me now.”

Hux found his voice. “So what happens now?” he asked, surprised at how calm, how level his voice sounded.

“Tomorrow I will leave, take the fight to the Resistance. They will fall before me at last and the First Order will rule supreme.”

_I will leave_ , he had said. Not _we_. Hux swallowed. “And what of me?” He changed his words at the last minute, said _me_ instead of _us_ , because he already knew there would be no _us_ from this point on. He had served his purpose in Snoke’s plan. He was a fool for thinking there would be anything more, should be grateful they’d been allowed the time they’d had, he told himself. 

“The Supreme Leader has a plan for you as well, Hux.”

Hux had no illusions now as to what that plan was.

“So what is it to be? Will you run me through with your blade as you did your father?” Hux crossed the distance between them again. “Or will you choke the life from me?” He reached down, took Ren’s hand in his. “And will you use Force to do it or will you wrap your bare hands around my throat?” There was no resistance as he raised Ren’s hand, as he unfolded the fingers that were clenched in a fist. He felt a shudder travel through Ren as he placed Ren’s hand on his chest at the base of his neck. 

He could try to fight, but he had nothing to do so with. He kept no weapons in his quarters, and even if he did and could reach them he had seen firsthand just how useless a blaster would be against Ren. He’d have no time to draw a knife, and he knew how strong Ren was, how easily he could overpower him in a physical confrontation.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get it over with,” he snapped. At least he could have some control over this. Ren hesitated, and Hux felt a thumb trace the line of his collarbone. Ren held his eyes as he slid his hand up, slowly, until his fingers rested on Hux’s pulse point. Hux felt his hand start to constrict and continued to hold his gaze, waited, but the hands didn’t tighten any further. Ren’s eyes, while still staring at him now seemed to be looking through him. He felt a tremor pass through Ren’s whole body. As he watched, Ren’s pupils constricted to pinpoints. Ren jerked, his hands squeezing for a second, and then relaxed smiled with a sweetness to it that took Hux’s breath away.

 _Do you trust me?_ Ren’s thought rippled through his consciousness.

 _Do I have a choice?_ he thought back, and was ashamed when he felt a wave of hurt in response. _Of course I trust you. Ridiculous man._

Ren smiled again, leaned in and kissed him, a gentle caress, a bare brush of lips against his. And then he clasped Hux’s throat with both hands, squeezing with crushing force, both physical and mystical. Hux’s eyes, which had drifted shut at the kiss, flew open in shock. His hands grasped at Ren’s, despite himself, and Ren kissed him again. It only took a few seconds. Hux’s hands fell to his sides as he slipped into unconsciousness. 

Ren caught him as he started to fall, lifted him and carried him across the room, laid him gently in his bed. He checked Hux’s pulse, sighed in relief. Hux was already starting to stir so Ren placed a hand on his forehead. “Not yet. Sleep,” he breathed. He allowed himself one more kiss before backing away. 

He made use of the refresher in Hux’s quarters, letting the sonics blast his skin clean. His robes were harsh against his skin, not just with newness but by design. The new boots added extra inches to his height, an intimidation factor he hardly needed but Snoke had insisted. He hesitated at the stiff collar that supported the helmet, left it sitting on the shelf. His helmet and lightsaber still lay on the table. The lightsaber he clipped to his belt. He turned the helmet so it was facing the wall again, as he’d found it when he entered. With one last look back he left the room. 

The corridors of the base were almost empty. The few troopers he met scrambled to get out of his way, saluting as he passed. As he approached Snoke’s chambers the doors opened before him. He could feel Snoke’s anger beating at him as he crossed the room.

“You dare defy me?” he roared as Ren came to a halt.

“In this, yes.” Ren was surprised at the sudden calm that had descended on him. He knew what was coming, didn’t bother to brace himself for it. The lightning hit him, throwing him backwards and he fell, letting the bolts wash over him. It was only pain, after all. Pain was familiar, had been his companion for most of his life. When it ceased he forced his legs to move and rose to a crouch, one leg supporting him, the other bent, propping himself upright by leaning an arm on his knee. When his breathing steadied, he spoke again.

“I saw your plan, you see. Killing Hux would have left me an empty shell, a puppet for your will. I am loyal to you, Supreme Leader, but not that loyal.”

The lightning hit him again. Again he let it wash over him, through him. It took him longer to recover this time but recover he did and this time he pushed himself all the way upright. Standing, he stared up at Snoke in defiance.

“Careful, my lord. If you kill me now, you will have no one able to wield this,” and he rested his hand on the lightsaber clipped to his side.

“And now what, Kylo? Will you try to kill me, to protect your precious general?” Snoke hissed.

“No, Supreme Leader. You and I both know if I try to do so, I will die.”

“What, then?”

“Why, we continue as you had planned, except you now have a willing and eager weapon at your command instead of a mindless dog. Can you not see how much more glorious our conquest will be?”

Snoke stared at him and Ren watched as his eyes grew unfocused. He waited, concentrated on his breathing, taking the thread of hope that wove through his thoughts and forcing it to the back of his brain, shielding it from the one before him. If Snoke sensed it, he might kill Hux himself out of sheer spite, and maybe even Kylo as well.

He waited, and when Snoke’s eyes refocused on him, Ren spoke again. “You now think of how to regain your control over me. You have already decided on an alternate plan to break me. You think to send me to kill my mother next, think that that will bring me to heel again. But I have seen that too and I have seen how poorly it ends.”

This time Snoke threw him across the chamber. He felt ribs crack as he impacted with the wall. No lightning followed, though, and when he staggered to his feet he could see that Snoke was again lost in visions. He made his way back to his place, waited until Snoke stopped sifting through the possibilities.

“You’ve seen what I have, then? That if Hux lives, if you send him forth from here and if I remain at your side, your willing disciple, how much greater your triumph will be? With the two of us as your weapons, the Empire we create will last millennia. If he dies, by my hand or yours, you will still succeed but your legacy will be diminished. A few generations will pass and you will be overthrown, your enemies triumphant, and you will become nothing more than a cautionary tale, a sad legend.”

The moments stretched on as Snoke’s eyes bored through him, and Ren watched emotions flicker across his face, too fast to track to predict. 

“Very well, Kylo. Your general may keep his life, as long as you keep yourself apart from him. If you disobey me in this, you will both wish that he had died today by your hand.”

“As you command, Supreme Leader.” Ren bowed his head, hiding the smile that played at the corners of his mouth.

“It seems your training is now complete. Come. We have much to do.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hux awoke with a gasp, his throat screaming at him as he struggled for air. Considering that despite his trust in Kylo he hadn’t expected to wake up at all he welcomed the pain. When the pounding in his head had subsided somewhat he pushed himself up, swung his legs over the side of the bed. His vision grayed and he let his head drop until it cleared. When he sat upright again he saw an analgesic and a glass of water sitting on the bedside table. There was no way he’d be able to choke the tablet down with his throat in its current condition so he chewed it to powder, grimacing at the bitter taste. He washed it down with small sips from the glass. The first swallow felt like crushed glass going down but the painkiller quickly took effect.

When he tried to stand his legs cooperated. He took a few steps and then stopped, staring, seeing Ren’s helmet still sitting where he’d placed it. 

Two troopers had stationed themselves outside his door. When he emerged they stood to attention.

“Admiral Hux!” Hux blinked in shock. “The Supreme Leader and Lord Ren have already left. The _Finalizer_ should arrive shortly, and you are ordered to return to the front and take command of the fleet. We are ordered to accompany you as your personal guard.”

He left on the first shuttle, not looking back as he marched up the ramp, his troopers marching behind him in perfect formation. He hadn’t arrived with anything but he left with one case, containing one important new belonging. The troopers disapproved, he could tell, of him carrying his luggage himself, but it wasn’t something he was willing to trust to anyone else. As the shuttle ascended he sat with the case in his lap, the one thing he had to take with him to remind him of these last few weeks. He carried the case all through his arrival, kept it with him through the debriefings that followed, took it with him when he retired to his quarters at last. 

Undoing the latches, he lifted Ren’s helmet from where it lay. He placed it on the shelf over his desk, let his hand rest on it, fingers tracing the shape of it, and then turned to face the wall.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how many times I've started to play a game again and I tell myself "Okay this time I'm going to play the asshole and pick all the angry dialog options and just generally be a shit to everyone!" and then when it comes down to it I always end up playing the sarcastic nice guy because I can't stand to be mean to the dear NPCs? Well, yeah, that kind of happened here, because I started with the plan of writing a tragedy and then I just couldn't do it to these two. 
> 
> So here I am at the end of the series. I don't know if I'll be writing more of these two in this particular story arc, because it was supposed to end horribly here and now I don't know where to go, but I will definitely be writing more in this pairing.
> 
> The love y'all have shown for this series has been amazing. Srsly. I'm really blown away. Kisses to everyone!
> 
> If you really loved it, let other folks know! Huge kudos to all of you. xoxoxo
> 
> p.s. Don't forget to check out the [outtakes!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5979409)
> 
> Feel free to come say hi over on [tumblr](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/).


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